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((((((Alien News))))))

Remember when you were young and all those scary movies came out and you were in the theater on Saturday and saw the previews for the new shows? From Frankenstein, to the Blob, to Rosemary’s Baby to Nightmare on Elm Street to Saw, there is a horrifying movie for every generation. Night of the living dead gave us zombies, Chuckie made us fearful of baby dolls and of course, Alfred Hitchcock made us afraid of taking showers. WHACKO-TV wasn’t about to be left in dark, we are afraid of the dark. So, we just released a brand new horror film that is sure to make you avoid the Internet. 
This story seems to have more legs than the Rockettes ®. Each day the news keeps undressing, ah, we mean unfolding more information about our General aptitude of not-so secret emails being circulated on the Inter-Web by our high command. Who better to tackle the story and bring down the intelligence community than our own TOTAL COMMANDER NIMROD. He has the scoop and it's wrapped up in a zip-loc® bag. What will happen next?
Some people read cards. Some people read tea leaves. And some people look to the stars to predict the future. WHACKO-TV has once again out-sourced its news responsibility to aliens. In this case, it is the return of that crazy spaceman Total Commander Nimrod to deliver the other-world news. The attitude of this creature will absolutely drive some to drink, while others to think. It’s ALIEN NEWS just as you like it, still warm and radioactive.

There are tons of TV shows out there, like Ancient Aliens, Alien Encounters, My College Son is an Alien, but never before has a TV show been able to bring together experts from the past, the present and the future to answer the question, Are we alone? We know that all one would need to do is to look around to see if you are indeed alone, but these smart guys seems to think that the moon is made out of cheese and there are little men with big eyes that fly here…. Oh, wait. What is that? Up there, in the sky, hey, I gotta go, get the camera…
With much of the inter-web protesting SOPA, the government's attempt to control deserts at the Mexican restaurants run by illegal immigrants, WHACKO-TV was indeed taken over by an ALIEN from another planet. Total Commander Nimrod comes down here with his carpet bag full of SPACE logic and tries to lecture America like a slime-covered Newt from another planet. He is in fact from another planet where all the ET-types wear Dayglo-green toilet seats. Get a number, take a se
We don’t know why we keep airing these tapes we get from TOTAL COMMANDER NIMROD. I mean putting the views of an ALIEN who doesn’t pay taxes in the USA is much like Al Jazeera airing that weirdo Bin Laden. But in the spirit of total disclosure, Nimrod’s nephew Zimulac is working as an intern this spring. Only on WHACKO-TV.

With all the publicity that WIKI-LEAKS web site is getting with their stolen documents, we thought we would turn to our Extra Terrestrial Total Commander Nimrod to get the inside scoop. And he really tells it like it is, or maybe he is just using mind control over every one at WHACKO-TV. Nimrod is a genius. Oh my, he is controlling the words I write.


Maybe it was just a hoax, but once again, someone in New York City has claimed they saw a UFO. They even captured the sighting on video and posted it on YouTube. Well, WHACKO-TV turned to our expert Total Commander Nimrod to find out just what happened. Our BREAKING NEWS story is on the air because we have ALIEN NEWS exclusively.

(July 8, 2009) Total Commander Nimrod, News Hunter from another galaxy reports on how he sees the planet earth. This exclusive to WHACKO-TV shows how very little the ALIENS know about us. This is sure to get the goat of SCI-FI fans everywhere.
We don't know why they keep coming down to earth to do their news reports, but ALIEN NEWS is back on WHACKO-TV. This time spaced reporter Nimrod talks about school uniforms, Wal-Mart and of course, Tiger Woods' late night antics. The Total Commander may think he knows us, but then do we?