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THE LAST NEWSPAPER READER

It is always fun to turn on our hidden camera in the home of the last newspaper reader. But it seems like that old cadger knows where the camera lens is located. He seems to be working to the camera a bit. But his commentary on things like the weather, politics and the latest on the whole Bill Cosby crisis is priceless. And we mean priceless in that WHACKO-TV doesn’t pay him a dime. 

Between the Pope pickin’ some saints, the owner of the L.A. Clippers laying down some rules for his young girl friend and Putin puttin’ some troops on the border of the Ukraine, the last newspaper reader is always there to give us “the” perspective we need to get through a perfectly normal Sunday. The significant question we have from all this is, why is it “the” Ukraine, why not just Ukraine? Is it like, “The Bronx”? 

With all the news about one little baby over there in the United Kingdom, it begs the question, why are we Americans so interested in this royal offspring? We did everything we could to get away from that terrible kingdom some 237 years ago. The last newspaper reader foments his lamentations of the world through the reading of stories. We don’t know what that means either. But hey, it’s not HBO, it’s TV. 

We have all had our moments when we’ve had a few drinks and decided to get behind a 2,000 pound vehicle. But when a loved one decides to “stand by her man”, this can become embarrassing. Thus was the story of Reese Witherspoon’s confrontation with Atlanta Police.  WHACKO-TV listened in on the conversations between the last newspaper reader and his “better half.” Who in most cases, never stands by her man. A little birdie told us this was worth putting on. What do little birds know? 

The Last Newspaper Reader is back with his take on world politics, Washington, DC and the kinds of governments he loves to hate. He always gets a little help from his friend upstairs who really would like to be the 2nd to last newspaper reader, if only the old man would just shut up. He may never do a rebuttal to the state of the union speech, but he’s a keen favorite on WHACKO-TV
We all made it to another year. We are 13 years into the new millennium and not that much has really changed. But as with any new year, people are making commitments and resolutions thinking this will be a better year. We caught up with the last newspaper reader who was, as usual, on the couch reading the latest blues and news. Let's see if he is ready to jump into the digital generation.
Wow, what long, strange trip this Presidential Election was. You had Mitt Romney who has been running for President for six years and Barack Obama who has been running for President since he was born in Hawaii or Africa or Chicago. It was amazing how the democracy once again survived and the economy of TV and Cable channels was improved greatly when they were given a billion dollars for running all the commercials. If the two candidates actually owned the stations, they could have created an infinity loop that would allow them to run for office for the rest of their lives. We join the last newspaper reader once again as he tries to cope with the reality of another four years of OBAMA. It’s all part of our “know your voter” campaign on WHACKO-TV. 
With the presidential debates making the front page of every newspaper in America, it is time once again to check in with the Last Newspaper Reader. We salute the newspaper and the influence they have on public thought; back when thought was part of the public life. Today, the last newspaper reader talks about Romney, Lohan and the hot women on The View. Our only question: who pays for the broken window?
Scotch comes from Scotland. Champagne comes from France. Tequila comes from Mexico. But where do baseball caps come from? Well, right now, it looks like China. BASEBALL, an American invention, has been sublimated by the wave of outsourcing that has weakened America. When everyone is saying JOBS JOBS JOBS, the answer is sitting on the top of your head. We need to pass the American Baseball Cap Act and declare that no baseball hat should be sold in these United States of America that wasn't made in the USA. Hey, it’s a start USA USA USDA. And the ‘last newspaper reader’ agrees with our WHACKO-TV stance.
WHACKO-TV feels, like most Americans, it is so sad that newspapers are slowly going away. We painted one of our offices recently and the shock penetrated our very bones. Oh, what happens when there are no newspapers to use to tape around the edges of the windows when we redecorate? Then Thelma and Louise in booking brought up the fact that their perfumed parrots and macrobiotic Macaws would have nothing on the bottom of their cages without newspapers. And of course, what would the last newspaper reader read? 
We do realize that if the last newspaper reader would just stop reading the newspaper, he wouldn’t have all that stress about what is happening in the news and politics. But he pays for the paper, so he is going to read it. And once again, he annoys his old lady by simply being an “old man.” The fun is endless as he tries to make sense of Rick Santorum and Gov. Chris Christie. 
Everyone is talking about the protester; winner of the man of the year in Time Magazine. But few people acknowledge the home protester. That older person, who sits on their sofa, reads the paper and talks out loud about what bothers them in the US of A. The Last Newspaper Reader is back and this time, he reads and talks. A perfectly wonderful freedom we all can enjoy. 
The world has a funny way of revolving around itself. We start out with a street encounter with a presidential candidate to discuss whether or not the rich should pay their fair share of taxes. The candidate gets elected and the funny bald guy goes away. Now another funny bald guy, the last newspaper reader, reads a story about the other funny guy running for Congress. Be careful with what you wish for, it could come true.
The Internet has always been a place that brings out the best and worst of human beings. The lust of power that goes with politically position can sometimes drive people to do the lowest things. The case of John Edwards is one example, and now we have Anthony Weiner to thank for some fabulous fodder for the last newspaper reader. He’s back and reading the news from real paper. 
The last newspaper reader is back and this time, he sees stories about Gas Prices, Obama, John McCain and the Royal Wedding. Looks like the newspaper reader just found out that Donald Trump is talking about running for President in 2012. Boy, he does have an opinion, doesn't he? 
There comes a time in every man’s life when he must stare into the eye of his boss and realize that his boss only has one eye.  Charlie Sheen was fired by CBS and is ready to take on the Internet and other challenges in his life. WHACKO-TV’s Wolf Douglas broke the story just was we were about to sit down and crack open another bottle of whisky in honor of Charlie’s endless P.R. campaign to destroy any last credibility he might have. What would Carlos Irwin Estevez do in a situation like this?
Emilio the educator is back at WHACKO-TV. This time he appears as an interactive feature in THE LAST NEWSPAPER READER’S fantasy. This kind of mixed media confusion is part of the on-going investigative reporting about the assumed demise of the newspaper. Why not learn from newspapers, plus what will you put in the bottom of your bird cage; over-priced printer paper?

The Last Newspaper Reader is back and he still seems to understand the news better than the cable news outlets. This old codger just picks up the newspaper and starts reading, with seemly no one to hear his sidebar comments. We know this happens in your home. WHACKO-TV finds the news in the strangest places.

The ever-growing anti-Anglo sentiment here in the US has got to be contained. But first, someone has to figure out how to stop the oil from leaking into the Gulf of Mexico. WHACKO-TV once again as found “the last newspaper reader” and we record his every move for historical documentation. What is this old codger thinking?

WHACKO-TV was asked to do  its part to help with the 2010 Census data gathering in the USA. We turned to the last Newspaper Reader to help straighten it all out. After watching this video, we are more uncertain about how "simple" this form really is. Stand up and be counted as a fan of WHACKO-TV.

That crazy old guy who reads the newspaper is back. This time WHACKO-TV caught him reading about the problems with alleged political corruption in the Empire State, New York. The opinions he alleged stated on this video are allegedly not the opinion of alleged management of WHACKO-TV or any of our alleged sponsors.
Every family has that self-appointed news reader who thinks they were born to tell you what is in the newspaper before you get your chance to read it. WHACKO-TV cameras were secretly put in the home of Biff and Yolinda Oshendorfer. This is reality TV at its best.