Homeless Harry
Music Director
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Bart Finnster
Humane Resources
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Jean Paul LePugh
Paris Bureau
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Dick Dishlecker
Auto Expert
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Patrick the Pixie
Good Luck Charm
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PERSONALITY PROFILES
Wolf Douglas comes to WHACKO-TV with a wealth of experience. He started out as a newspaper boy in Intercourse, Pennsylvania for the Intercourse Observer. After only two years on the Crime Beat, he was promoted to Editor-in-Chief. Then, he made the leap into TV as a street reporter for WOOD-TV covering Climax, Gay, and Hell, Michigan. After being on the beach for more then three years, WHACKO-TV picked up him, literally.
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Homeless Harry has a checkered past. He was found playing checkers one day in Elmsford, New York near a dumpster. His amazing musical talents were brought to light by Wolf Douglas during an episode of BACKLINE that featured gifted-goofy people of the new millennium. Harry doesn't remember his last name, and up until a few weeks ago, we were paying him cash for his songs. But then I.N.S. paid us a visit and we had to find out if he was an illegal alien. He was not, but he also was not a member of the Musician's Union; we are still not sure which is worse.
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Bart Finnster is the Humane Resource Director here at WHACKO-TV. Bart is one of the first humans in the United States to get a degree in Sexual Harassment, with a minor in Productive and Reproductive Management from Hudson University. Bart has a great sense of humor and jokes often about all the nut cases who call the station claiming that his alma mater is only a fictional TV institution. Without Bart, we would have been suited millions of times. His series GET A JOB has been nominated for the FINK AWARD, several times, by Hudson University's journalism department.
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Pecker Johnson takes all the "jimbo-jambo" and the techno-talk and breaks it down for all of us in his award winning, TECH-TALK program on WHACKO-TV. Pecker's unusual name comes from taunting he received in trade school because of his bright red beard (now a goatee). The kids thought he looked like a woodpecker, but we know he is a bird of a different color. Without our Pecker, this place would not run as smoothly as it does. IT is what he does and we are glad to have him.
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Tony Facovia is more than an just your average run-of-the-mill attorney. Anthony Facovia has more people in his pocket than anyone else in this town. Not only has his law firm, WRIGHT, WONG & FACOVIA been supporters of WHACKO-TV since our inception, but he has gotten us out of tons of parking tickets. So far, the paternity suit has been is only loss for us. Not only does Tony appear in his own commercials, but he was the focus of a recent DATELIME investigation. When you need good advice, you can get it from Tony. You-know-whata-mean?
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Jean Paul LePugh just joined WHACKO-TV when we opened our News Bureau in Paris, France. Jean Paul's reportage reputation haunts him where ever he goes; Woman scream, young kids cry, men smoke cigarettes. He likes to smoke, drink wine and watch François Truffaut movies over and over again. He received the Jacques Clouseau Award for his covering the UFO landing in Côte d'Azur, which we believe is somewhere near the French Riviera, but LePugh has not gotten back to us to confirm. He is on what they call over there, a holiday.
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Chef DaWhite loves to cook and his show COOKIN' WITH DA WHITE GUY has become legendary with the men in the audience. His expertise comes from his time at the C.I.A., not the Culinary Institute of America, but the real CIA. When stationed in Bogota, Columbia, lots of locals where into DaWhite stuff that he cooked up every night. Once de-commissioned as an intelligence officer, we figured we could us a cook at WHACKO-TV and we brought him on. We just built him a brand new kitchen, so he better stay.
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Dick Dishlecker owned and operated DISHLECKER CHEVROLET in Quicksand, Kentucky, but when GM closed him down, we felt so sorry for him and gave him a desk job here at WHACKO-TV. His family had been in the car business for more than three generations. Before that they sold horses in Quicksand. We still haven't figured out why they would put the horses in quicksand, I mean, wouldn't they sink? But we are currently working on a show for him, or as they say in LA, it's in development. Look for Dick on WHACKO-TV soon.
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Patrick the Pixie is well, we have no idea why he is here. Perhaps he is related to the boss, the monkey, Mr. Thwig Salgoud, but up to this point, we have no idea where he came from.
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2009 WHACKO-TV VIDEO REVIEW
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